#242 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Squizzle> BIONIC PENIS BEAMS.
<JDigital> Or 'sperm', as they're more commonly known.
#867 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<%Eck> i need something to do before i start to go mad
<%Eck> :(
<@Jobe> fap
<%Eck> no tweezers
#1 (+|-) (Rated: 18) [QDigg / QShare]
<FossZombie> wtf
<FossZombie> quote "so you are 23 years old right?" me: "yes" them: "did you have any programming experiance in the 1970s"
* Wolfed hails FossZombie
<FossZombie> I'm tempted to say yes
<Wolfed> It would have been interesting.
<FossZombie> Yes in 1971 I was the lead computer scientist for the military, until 1975 when I switched jobs and worked for zenith for a short period of time until 1980s when I switched over to the atari group programming team. In 1984 I was born and that pretty much ended my career as a programmer.
<FossZombie> I spent the next three years shitting myself and learning how to speak and learn my ABCs
#2117 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
krysk: FUCK YES
sorraa01: what
krysk: ACCEPT FILE !
<Downloading file WoWScrnShot_012609_001417.jpg>
<Completed downloading file WoWScrnShot_012609_001417.jpg>
sorraa01: ok I’m an idiot
krysk: ?
sorraa01: just this one time though
sorraa01: i just tried to scroll through your honor the elders list to see all of them and i couldn't because it’s a screenshot
krysk: Hahahahahahaha
krysk: Screenshotted
#1539 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<+peer> SUCK MAH PENII
<Rage> peer, you're such a good buddy
#2300 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<Sebas> So my parents have an account on my little brother's laptop so they can use it during the week, when he's not at home. Said account is severely restricted using Parental Control.
<Sebas> Giving an ironic new meaning to the term "Parental control."
<Sebas> I love it.
#1098 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<hatzis> listen guys i'm really confused
<hatzis> do i vote for the black man
<hatzis> or the woman
<hatzis> i can't decide
<hatzis> the irony really is a bit much
<hatzis> any advice appreciated
<FBIGuy> i vote for the one with the white cock
#2140 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<@HyperHacker> lol wut
<@HyperHacker> I was just about to fap
<@HyperHacker> and then a song came on
<@HyperHacker> "Grip - Every Little Thing"
<@HyperHacker> D:
#288 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<+Lekon> Oddly enough in fable 2 I AM queerbait somehow
<+Lekon> All the gay guys in bowerstone are trying to marry my guy
<+HereticMachine> Sent.
<+Lekon> Its a Halo above my head, not a steering wheel for my mouth bastards.
#1570 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
BadSpoon: you know you're a nerd when you start crunching your cereal to the beat of a song
#1244 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Forte> NO.
<Forte> That means.
<Forte> I have to open IE.
<Forte> Wait.
<Forte> (Currently browsing) http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/Coffin-Chic/RebelPoohBear.jpg (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/Coffin-Chic/RebelPoohBear.jpg)
<Forte> There.
<Forte> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
<Forte> JUST.
<Forte> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
<openProxy> LMFAO!!!!!!
<Forte> JUST.
<Forte> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
<Forte> Like.
<Forte> She looks like a jar.
<Forte> ò_Õ
<openProxy> LMFAOO!!!!!!
<openProxy> I can't breathe
<Forte> Combinded.
<Forte> With a.
<Forte> Gremlin.
* Forte is now listening to System of a Down - 36
<Forte> Combinded.
<Forte> A dog.
#2513 (+|-) (Rated: 3) [QDigg / QShare]
<Stingray_> Update: the situation is grim, folks. The RIAA have brought soldiers and are attempting to break into our offices. We've holed ourselves up in the server room, but we don't know how much longer we can hold..
<Stingray_> DISREGARD THAT. THE RIAA IS GREAT. WE HAVE NO TROUBLE WITH THE RIAA. PLEASE CONTINUE TO BUY RIAA-APPROVED MUSIC THROUGH YOUR STANDARD RIAA-APPROVED RETAIL OUTLETS.
#2078 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Sclariqrevk> 'I' before 'e', except after 'c'
<Rosktau> Eight.
<Sclariqrevk> fuck you
#2369 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<%titan> !watch midget tranny bondage porn
<&Bdk> ^ SPAWN much?
#424 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<@Host> why would u want online dating sites when u have Middle schools.
#2292 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Dav Lister> Zedo, a half blind five year old african orphan,has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only 1 leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.
<Arctanis> Thats sad Dav
<Dav Lister> give a small donation of two pounds and we'll send you the video. it's fucking hilarious
#390 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Wack0> hey
<Wack0> i am here
<hexagram> hey
<hexagram> But is icefire here?
<Wack0> no idea
<Wack0> icefire, you there ?
* Dig-out smacks icefire around
<Dig-out< ice you code like a girl!
<Dig-out< nope hes not around
#1544 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
EcKstasy: bitch
Elouiisee: sorry but i'm not in the mood
EcKstasy: you never were, you didn't move much
Elouiisee: whaa ??
EcKstasy: nothing
Elouiisee: no go on spit it out
EcKstasy: i dont swallow thats forsure
EcKstasy: hah
Elouiisee: i do
#2493 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Sprout> I wonder how a method actor would react to playing an aids patient
#2593 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
Testing a bot:
<Z> prealpha: What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
<prealpha> Z: Command unknown: "what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
<Xires> prealpha; what is the air speed velocity of a lady that swallows?
<prealpha> Xires: Command unknown: "what is the air speed velocity of a lady that swallows?"
<Xires> yeah, me neither, I'll ask when she gets home
#1648 (+|-) (Rated: 4) [QDigg / QShare]
<%Eck> l2movewhilstbeingpenetratedbypenguins
<@Jobe> Eck: I dont need to
<@Jobe> :)
<%Eck> no wonder you have a grazed anus hole
<@Jobe> dude nowai
<@Jobe> I dont need to l2 on that one
<@Jobe> cause i dont get up to that shit
<@Jobe> just remember
<@Jobe> what you do in your private time is you only
<%Eck> you dont have a choice when being raped by penguins
<@Jobe> the rest of us do things normally
<@Jobe> you would know
<@Jobe> ;)
<%Eck> well its probably just like normal rape
<@Jobe> again you would know
<%Eck> no, rape victims would know
<@Jobe> like I said
<@Jobe> cause youd know all about penguin sex
<%Eck> you would know if you l2education
<@Jobe> :P
<%Eck> well penguins are better than your average female, they dont need to shave because they have a silk body
<@Jobe> yeah and then youre stuck with the egg while she goes off having fun
<@Jobe> tkhx owned by parenthood
<%Eck> lmfao
<%Eck> half penguin half human
<@Jobe> short legs and feathers, the rest human
<%Eck> you would know
<%Eck> selfownedkthx
#931 (+|-) (Rated: 5) [QDigg / QShare]
<+DeathAdder> Eck, you calling someone gay is like the Jews calling another race greedy.
<~peer> well, you are gay. so its the truth
<+DeathAdder> You wish I was gay.
<+DeathAdder> Fucking fatman.
<~peer> lawl @ "I was"
<~peer> fucking PWNED
<~peer> qb
#68 (+|-) (Rated: 3) [QDigg / QShare]
<@TheKiNG> LolFail should I make out with my friend?
<%LolFail> I might know.
<@TheKiNG> It's a hot girl to
<@TheKiNG> LolFail then tell me
#32 (+|-) (Rated: 7) [QDigg / QShare]
<establish> 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like guys who are short, overweight, not good looking, and who are really into computers and video games/plus I have genital warts
#1442 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Harry> I was fapping, I finished, was wiping off my hand, I sneezed, then my reflexes brought my hand to my mouth and I got all my jizz into my eyes
<Harry> hurts like hell.
#317 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Stueh> This has been the last hour for me:
<Stueh> "Windows Update needs to install an update for Windows Update. Please click the Download and Install button to download and install the update for Windows Update."
Stueh laughs
<Stueh> "Windows Update cannot connect to the internet."
Stueh cries
<Stueh> The ethernet driver is now mysteriously not installed anymore.
Stueh screams
<Stueh> "Windows cannot locate a driver for your ethernet card. Would you like Windows to connect to Windows Update and find a driver for you?"
#1066 (+|-) (Rated: 3) [QDigg / QShare]
<BlAcK-DiAmOnD> you want to hack me?
<BlAcK-DiAmOnD> dont please
<BlAcK-DiAmOnD> dont
<BlAcK-DiAmOnD> :(
#451 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Slaanesh> My uncle once managed to superglue his fist shut as a kid. My grandfather refused to do anything because 1: It was his superglue that got wasted 2: "The harsher the lesson, the more you learn"
<TheWarp> haha what
<TheWarp> your uncle should have punched him with his superglued fist
<Frolic> my grandfather is $30,000 in debt
<Frolic> know what the bills are for?
<TheWarp> porn
<Frolic> porn.
<&PurpleXVI> ...Hahahah.
<TheWarp> HAHAHA
<Kein> hahahahahaha, oh wow
<Kein> That's amazing
<Slaanesh> He should superglue the bills together and roll them into the porn shop
<Frolic> adult friend finder
<TheWarp> $30,000 of porn?
<Frolic> chinese friend finder
<Gorbash_Kazdar> :B
<Frolic> bangbros
<TheWarp> oh god
<&PurpleXVI> He just wanted some grown-up friends.
<TheWarp> your grandad has my taste in porn
#2559 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<Mio> shinji I AM YOUR FATHER
<Mio> AND MOTHER
<shinji> Go fuck yourself
<shinji> Oh wait
#187 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<ChrisTheKiwi> Roses are red
<ChrisTheKiwi> Violets are blue
<ChrisTheKiwi> Im way to drunk
<ChrisTheKiwi> To have sex with you
<ChrisTheKiwi> So forgive me my dear
<ChrisTheKiwi> I must go spewjhgfknhguiaaqwjhilhih
<Ater> What THE hell?
<Socko> 0_o
#401 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
Heratique: i should go to bed
Heratique: goddammit I lack even the motivation to sleep!
Yuzaan: wow
Yuzaan: my kinda woman
#90 (+|-) (Rated: 4) [QDigg / QShare]
(ci)cookie(ci) joins conversation
You have just sent a Nudge!
(ci)cookie(ci) requests your attention!
EcKstasy: dont close the window on me mother fucker
(ci)cookie(ci) leaves conversation
(ci)cookie(ci) joins conversation
EcKstasy: WANKER I SAID NO
(ci)cookie(ci) leaves conversation
EcKstasy: oi
(ci)cookie(ci) joins conversation
(ci)cookie(ci) leaves conversation
EcKstasy: no
(ci)cookie(ci) joins conversation
(ci)cookie(ci) leaves conversation
(ci)cookie(ci) joins conversation
EcKstasy: do it again and ill ddos your mobile phone
EcKstasy: o0o00o
(ci)cookie(ci): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i like that 1
EcKstasy: lmfao
(ci)cookie(ci): o0
(ci)cookie(ci) leaves conversation
#182 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<~Eck> The annual cost of a colour TV licence (set by the Government) is currently £142.50. That works out at less than £12 per month - about 39p per day for each household.
<~Eck> A black and white TV licence is £48.
<~Eck> The licence (whether colour or black and white) is free if you are 75 or over, and half-price if you are registered blind, although you still need to a
<~Eck> WHO WANTS TO WATCH TV WHEN THEY'RE BLIND
<~Eck> THATS FUCKING STUPID
#303 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
dr4yn30: AAAAAAAAAAAHH
dr4yn30: I HAVE T9
dr4yn30: HATE*
dr4yn30: I WAS TELLING SOMEONE I LOVED THEIR APP
dr4yn30: FOR A GAME
dr4yn30: AND T9 MADE IT SAY ''I love your ass''
dr4yn30: FFFFFFFFFFFFF
// he was on AIM on his phone
#2352 (+|-) (Rated: 4) [QDigg / QShare]
* mib_6tjpvq (5683c09b@DnBRevolution-8CD2ED2.mibbit.com) has joined #dnbrevolution
<mib_6tjpvq> ff
<mib_6tjpvq> FUCK YOU
<mib_6tjpvq> dsgksdagkakgd;lsad
* mib_6tjpvq (5683c09b@DnBRevolution-8CD2ED2.mibbit.com) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
<@Host> YAY!
<@Eck> ..
<@Eck> our first happy customer
<@Eck> rotfl
<@Host> rotfl
#475 (+|-) (Rated: 3) [QDigg / QShare]
<@jamesG> You know those naruto headbands some people actually wear?
<@jamesG> I remember someone refering to them as "Pussy Deflectors"
<@jamesG> I laughed until I saw a female wearing one...
#1656 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<dafunks> its 4am here
<dafunks> ive been drinking since 1pm midday
<dafunks> im pretty trashed
<ThirdKey> you are a better man than i
<ThirdKey> thats what you get for living across the pond
<kernowgringo> an alcohol problem?
<ThirdKey> no, 4am
#2311 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<@sysErroR> my kid I swear is gonna have F.A.S. or some shit.
<PolarBear> ????
<@sysErroR> Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
<@sysErroR> it's what happened to Forte.
<@sysErroR> :x
<PolarBear> LMFAO
<PolarBear> Thats so fuckin mean
#1162 (+|-) (Rated: 4) [QDigg / QShare]
Sky761: wow....
lastplacer: ?
Sky761: jar squatter
Sky761: lol.....wanna try it ?
lastplacer: Not really >.>
Sky761: jk...lol
Sky761: at least it pretends us for what's to come...... : ;)
lastplacer: ...
lastplacer: I'M A FUCKING GUY!
Sky761: woah........
Sky761: ur a guy?
lastplacer: YES
Sky761: LOL!!!!!!!! i always thought u were a female
#237 (+|-) (Rated: 4) [QDigg / QShare]
<William> i'm still wating to go through the emo phase
<William> like that will happen
<William> Playing: "Social Distortion - Drug Train" (192kbps - 44kHz - Stereo)
#2148 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<Andries> jesus if i can run this myspace page i could probs run crysis
#1534 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<lolfighter> "A member of the Star Wars: the Old Republic community expressed disappointment that the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored on the official forums. Later in the discussion, SW:tOR Community Manager Sean Dahlberg closed the thread stating "these are terms that do not exist in Star Wars".
<lolfighter> No lesbianism in Star Wars.
<lolfighter> I have officially lost interest.
<U235> Nobody likes the manwich in Star Wars
<Fewlio> lolf: they're not lesbians they're JEDI
<U235> who cares, that MMO is going to blow
<lolfighter> Why can't they be lesbian jedi? :(
<Fewlio> no no
<Fewlio> the jedi are entirely homosexuals
<Fewlio> unless they go to the dark side
<lolfighter> I mean, jedi are by definition pretty and athletic.
<Tesseract|UFF> And have plot armour.
<Tesseract|UFF> Can't forget that.
<lolfighter> Wait, so they can't be lesbian because that's their default state?
<U235> And British
<Tesseract|UFF> Except in dramatic cases.
<Fewlio> yes
<Fewlio> because they're not allowed to have babbies
<Tesseract|UFF> lern2count U235
<lolfighter> Uhm.
<Tesseract|UFF> There's like 1.
<lolfighter> Hm.
<lolfighter> That does make sense.
<U235> Mace Windu was black, so he was british
<lolfighter> Okay, interest rekindled.
<Fewlio> So, in all future conversations, refer to any homosexual as a Jedi.
<Fewlio> Me and this dude were so Jedi
<lolfighter> You're so jedi.
<lolfighter> "Thanks."
<lolfighter> Oh, you're welcome. :<
<Fewlio> "Glad you noticed ;)"
<lolfighter> Er, :>
<U235> DId he blow his midichlorians all over your face
<Tesseract|UFF> do ho ho
<lolfighter> ...
<lolfighter> Oh that was awful.
#392 (+|-) (Rated: 2) [QDigg / QShare]
<+Creptio> im dual booting windows..
<+Creptio> accept i kinda fucked up my boot
<+G-Brain> accepted
<+Creptio> shut up Gbrain
<%BSDGurl> lol
<+G-Brain> :D
#1739 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<triviabot> Question 9 (the middle ages): A monastery for women. What is it?
<[Loco]mama> my cellar
#892 (+|-) (Rated: 1) [QDigg / QShare]
<[NiNjA]UK> I have just loaded Russian Roulette Version 2.1
<Wack0> and i don't care
#179 (+|-) (Rated: 7) [QDigg / QShare]
<Unknown)Hex(> Wtf, there is a class on Harry Potter.
<`Xel`Naga`> G strings and 740 lbs
<Ghin.> Crap my house is on fire afk
<Unknown)Hex(> Everywhere I go, people are talking about WV.
<tonynelson(DK)> it most likly a clan
<FuryOfNoobElf@Azeroth> i wish i was more cultured
<SinfulSoul> I got boned.
<Boatright(KKoD)> i need a hot girlfriend
<cracker-jacker> my mom isnt online
<magicwolfy> ANY GIRLS HERE WANNA SUCK MY %@$%
<Damn_it2> time to go play with my daughter
<TORTUGAMASTERR> EDUCATION IS NOT INTELLIGENCE
<fufuberry> Please don't tell me I get stood up online too
ArchAngel-Syfer@Azeroth> What's a Schlattwhapper?
<Scholar> Schlattwhapper, n.: The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face. Get on it.
<Cpt-Hero> theyre a few penors short of a fufu dream
<Ame> And seriously, if you're so fat you need to move the stomach to get to the d!ck, then you'd damn well best help me out and move it, or you're not appreciative enough to be worth the effort. I mean, god..
<Apples-2-Apples> ?w PrincessVampire *caresses down your thigh as his hard member pulses, aching to taste the sweet necter of your !&$%@*
<ShadowHunter-2@Azeroth> i play Bass for Green Day <ShadowHunter-2@Azeroth> My Fav Bass is Mike Dirnt From Green
<gani(DE)> i heard of e-marrage (cause i am e-marraid)but u take it to far
<Valeficent> i am uber uber 1337
<Dead_by_Dawn> if my hubby bit my ass that hard might turn me on
<Carnival> i pee with a picture of your mom in the toilet teaches me to get my aim right
<dericade(SoD)> SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME RUN A DAT FILE OR ILL RIP UR TESTICULES OUT THRU UR ANIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#1271 (+|-) (Rated: 3) [QDigg / QShare]
<Jalut> a man got in trouble for putting a cat in a bong a while ago
<r3in> IN a bong?!
<Jalut> yeah
<r3in> pic?
<Jalut> hang on
<@Rjx> I can see that being abuse
<@Rjx> r3in: be careful about it, the threshold dosage is a lot lower for cats
<r3in> yeah, they are actually pretty good about it
<r3in> like i dont force them
<@Rjx> they'll come over for it usually
<@michael-> Plenty of guys like curvy women too.
